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First Year !

Posted on Feb 1st, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
On January 27 2008 I reached my first year here a Gaia! Imagine! A whole year of discovery, new friends, new paths, or richer light shinning on paths that I have been journeying on for a while...

I arrived at Gaia through applying for scholarship, and really did nothing for sometime.  I think the first person who befriended me was Elisa, (who sadly has removed herself  from communicating with me). We shared some wondrous moments together...

If course I recieved group emails from Sonia about goings on, things to enliven ones experinece at Gaia, help to be the change one wishs to be in the world...

Than sometime last spring I recieved a message from Saty-Seer and my Gaia commitment grew and blossomed... John used his profile to welcome me to his friends list! From there I met LB, Centria, Susan, Janet, Boogie, Samme, only to name a few who expanded and evolved my experience of Gaia...

I joined pods, I bloged, I have shared photos, I have gained friends and some have moved on... I have been supported and encouraged as well as have had the opportunity to support and encourage others as we travel our paths together.

I look forward to expanding the richness of the banquet I have been offered by the many people,  the expressions of creativity, Love, compassion that allows this site to grow and evolve...

I am most grateful for each and everyone of you!

I am Love, Jeff



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What music has made the biggest difference in your life?

Posted on Feb 4th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 04, 2009:

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Barbar Striesand has been the sound track of my life since my early teens... of course there have been many other sounds and types of music that flowed through the years...
Yet Striesands voice and songs ring in my ears and heart...

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What religious figure would you like to have met?

Posted on Feb 5th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 05, 2009:

Just one! About a gathering in a wondrous garden of the many enlightened beings so that we could learn, grow, rediscover who we are...

Yet if I only get to meet one the one coming up for me is Rumi! 


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Who or what would you have the hardest time loving?

Posted on Feb 7th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 07, 2009:

Myself!
The question ask is "What, for you, is the greatest challenge to love?"Is there anyone or anything that you're incapable of loving?" The greatest challenge to love is truly loving my self fully which causes me to be incapable of loving many other things completely and honestly.            
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Tagged with: QaR, love, loving, challenge, fear

What do you search for within yourself?

Posted on Feb 8th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 08, 2009:

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My true self, my authentic self, The Higest, Grandest Version of who I really am.

Unconditional Love!
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Tagged with: QaR, seek, searching, self, interior, inside

What do you think you're supposed to learn in this lifetime?

Posted on Feb 10th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 10, 2009:

I came here to "learn" nothing! For I already know it all. I came here to experience who I really am by re-membering who I really am.

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Tagged with: QaR, lessons, learning, life, living

Radical Faeries Celebrate 30 years!

Posted on Feb 15th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
For years I have sought to understand and to experience what Being Gay/Queer/Homosexual is all about... I knew it was more then the nightly drinking and parties... it was more then the one-night-stands and the 6 month romances, as well as groping in the dark... Yet I did not find it for years... for I followed the path into bars, bathhouses, boys, until it all came crashing down around me... underneath of all the darkness light shone, I did not know it but I sought it... My path into recovery of my soul of course came through AA and my search to understand what a Higher Power was and how to have it in life on a daily basis... This seeking lead me to find gay writing, queer writers who were seeking and having the same type of experience and journey... Queer History is there if one looks. I did not understand Walt Whitman, unless he and his writings where explained to me... but it was not just queer spirit it was Love spirit, inclusion of all beings I sought but first I had to find and understand my history, and I am still traveling that road... 
There are some wondrous books out there and more than I know or have ever read but a couple that have informed me, enlighten me, dare me, to walk more proud, more purposefully on my path where Harry Hays writings, Mark Thompson, Mitch Walker, many others who share a dream and passion for enlighten the Consciousness of Gay men, they call it Gay Consciousness, yet I believe it is just a tuning in to Spirit... 

All of this was prompted by a piece I just read and feel honored to share with you all here... I have been a Radical Faerie for a few years now... I have yet to really step into that space/circle... I honor the men and women who have come before me, who did not sell out the the assimulation idea that so many young gay people are desiring to do to have "their rights" .... (many of the books can be found on my book list)..
So here is the story:
Radical Faeries Celebrate 30 Years of Gay Consciousness

by Karen Ocamb

It may be difficult for some young LGBT activists to imagine a time full of hate worse than today. Just sucker-punched by the voter-approved discrimination written into the California Constitution through Prop. 8, many young LGBT activists assumed equality through the love of their families and straight friends and acceptance at work and church.

Thirty years ago, such an assumption was a dream. But two gay men with a history of activism—Harry Hay, who founded the Mattachine Society in 1950, and Don Kilhefner, who co-founded (with Morris Kight) the Gay Liberation Front in Los Angeles in 1970—were less interested in fitting into or winning
acceptance from heterosexual society than delving into the depths of gay consciousness. And in 1979, they organized a new group they brazenly called the Radical Faeries at La Cresta Court in Hollywood, which became known thereafter as the Faerie Sanctuary.

The words "radical" and "faerie" were intentionally chosen—"radical" meaning "root," says Kilhefner, and "faerie" to "take back" the anti-gay epithet (like the activists in the 1990s reclaimed the word "queer"). There was also a nod to cultures where faeries are "magical, healing delightful
creatures."

It was, says therapist and author Mark Thompson, who both chronicled and participated in the Radical Faeries, an intentional "positive act of self-empowerment to reclaim what some might think of as a negative definition and recast it as a prideful definition of our own making!"

Hay and Kilhefner held the first Radical Faerie gathering on Labor Day weekend in 1979 on an ashram in the Sonora, Ariz., desert, issuing "A Call to Gay Brothers" through fliers and Thompson's stories in the Advocate.

The idea was to "venture into the unsullied frontiers of the American outback to become clear-headed enough to open their hearts to the possibilities of new ways, myths and understandings," says Thompson.

"Improbable, ephemeral and vivid as iridescent rain, the cultural phenomena known as the Radical Faeries was a wing-stroke felt around the world," Thompson says. That first meeting of 200 gay men inspired others around the country, as well as in Canada, Europe, Australia and, most recently,
Thailand.

"The Radical Faeries are gay-centered," says Kilhefner. The philosophy focuses on "'us' not 'them'" and yet transcends those polarities. "It says gay reality is important, substantial and meaningful," underscoring that "being gay constitutes a significant evolutionary and social purpose much greater than the sexual identity to which our oppressors have chained us."

Pointing to the poetry of Walt Whitman, Kilhefner says that "'gay consciousness' is different (not better or worse) from 'nongay consciousness,' and it is the responsibility of the next wave of Gay Liberation to explore and identify those differences for the benefit of both gay and nongay people. It is the opposite of 'gay assimilation,' which since 1985-ish has been the dominant ideology of our community and to which the Radical Faeries are the antidote."

But the Radical Faeries are not simply navel-gazers. They work to "develop a larger political and social consciousness in the gay community, supporting liberation movements of women and men, people of color, working people and common and ordinary people like us, and supporting electoral politics where
there is integrity, ethics and honesty," says Kilhefner.

They are, in essence, community activists. "We value the gifts of each person and weave those gifts into the fabric of community life," says Kilhefner. "We recognize and assume our responsibilities not only to the gay community but to the larger community of beings ... Inherent in 'gay assimilation' theory and practice is the disappearance of the gay community and the diminution of gay identity, to which the Radical Faeries are the antidote."

"The faeries are as important today as ever, especially in an ever-expanding gay world that is lost for spiritual meaning. Gay folk need community and connection in private sacred-shared spaces as never before," says Thompson. "Men drawn to the Faerie movement wanted to heal old wounds, for sure, but
were also seeking to reinvent themselves as authentically queer men in a straight-jacketed society that would rather not see them exist at all. Liberation and love—unfettered and beyond shame—was the name of the game."

Today, the Faeries continue to exist "as one tribe among a loose-knit but rapidly growing international community of spiritually focused gay men in conversation with one another," says Thompson. "Through websites, conferences and groups such as Atlanta's Gay Spirit Visions and Los Angeles' Gay Men's Medicine Circle (founded by Kilhefner), as well as such publications as White Crane Journal, the courageous step taken by a few on hidden reddish sands has now evolved into a self-empowering pathway traveled by many."

On Feb. 15, at 2 p.m., Don Kilhefner and Mark Thompson will talk about the
Radical Faeries at the ONE Gay & Lesbian Archives, 909 West Adams Blvd.,
L.A. For more information on the free event, visit onearchives.org.

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What would you pick as your word for the week?

Posted on Feb 17th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 17, 2009:

Present! 
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Tagged with: QaR, word, week, language, future

Where did you come from?

Posted on Feb 18th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 18, 2009:

I came from the precise moment that the Love of my parents opened up to love to create me... There are no accidents in procreation...
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Tagged with: QaR, origin, home, being, self

Postmodern Male

Posted on Feb 18th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff

Underneath their bravado, even though they weren’t afraid of a street fight, they were terrified of real intimacy, especially spiritual intimacy. Ironically, this would come to the surface especially when they came together with other men—spiritual brothers who were committed to creating a new culture together, a culture based upon higher values, the evolution of consciousness, and the commitment to be strong, transparent, and authentic at all times.

A Call to Arms for the postmodern male. By Andrew Cohen of EnlightenNext magazine. 

The whole issue is about the evolution of Men, where they came from and where they are going... as spiritual beings... The above quote is from Andrew Cohen's piece, he was discussing his experience with students and men who where involve in his group. I was struck by the statement "spiritual brothers who were committed to creating a new culture together, a culture based upon higher values, the evolution of consciousness... Strong, transparent , and authentic at all times. I have to ask, what does that look like, feel like? asking how do we act when we are with our brothers, interacting with other men. 

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What kind of angel would you want to be?

Posted on Feb 24th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 24, 2009:

I don't know much about angels... I know that they are guides and protectors... and such.
I guess I would be the messenger angel! 
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Share the story of your life, using only six words.

Posted on Feb 27th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for February 27, 2009:

A cycle journey of evolutionary discovery !
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Tagged with: QaR, biography, life, living, writing

Photo shoot part one

Posted on Feb 27th, 2009 by Jeff : messenger Jeff
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Tomorrow will be a week, a week ago that I went on a photo shoot with a photography club I had joined only days before, I knew no one, I had never shot in a studio situation, with “real” model… Plus the $25 fee was an issue I had to content with, and contend I did. I scoured around my room and pockets for change and did come up with $26, Wow!

I drive the 15 minuets there to Glassboro NJ from my house sort of the long way around doubting if I would find my way, yet knowing I was going in the right direction. The round about trip on busy commercial roads afforded me the time not to worry about what I was about to go do, about if I had the right equipment, (it’s about size), whether I could work with models, and assortment of other stuff that could have gone through my mind, creating doubt and fear was absorbed by my focusing on the traffic and going in the right direction…

I found the place Tony Wilson Studio with out much problem, I was a little off the track but I took a breath, read my directions, the few I had, and my sort of knowing the area, and there is was. A building, old warehouse off the main road, in suburbia. I saw other wandering about with bags on their shoulders and shouted out, “is this where the photography shoot is” their rely was “Yes”.

As I walked with one of the other guys around to the back of the building, in muddy parking lot, a red tail hawk flow over our heads, right over our head and settled in to a near by tree, as close as I have ever seen one in the “wild”. I mentioned it to the other guy but he paid it no mind… I looked up at the hawk sitting there, feathers blowing in the wind, and wonder should I take its photo… but I did not, I continued into the warehouse and the photo shoot.

In side of a cold warehouse space upon enter to the right on the left was a large cavernous space dimly lit. Inside the door to the right was chaos, right it front was a makeshift space for a dressing room, half a dozen people milling about, to the left a desk with an assortment of costume jewelry strewn about as well as desk type things. The lady behind the desk was not Alex the facilator I was to introduce myself to a pay my fee but the partner of Tony Wilson, I believe is wife…

Looking down into the space there where sit ups for different area of back grounds, back drops, with umbrella lights and reflectors, what looked to me jammed together with randomly… Also there were men with camera’s, bags, tripods, in bunches as well as alone, talking, checking equipment. It seemed to be no semblance of order or direction, and there was not for about an hour…

Finally about a half a dozen of us gathered at the far end with lights where set up and we were out of the way of people still trying to organize, we got it to action, other photographers with long lens’s and might camera, checking settings, white balance, ISO sensitivity, adjusting lights, taking a few shots at the back drop which was a fake brick wall. Jim I think finally got the first model, Joy to step up and begin. Thank goodness for Jim because he knew what he was looking for and suggested poses which Joy stepped into with out hesitation, I followed the lead, and began to shoot, mostly to the side, and sometimes between poses because I like less posed and more natural shots… It was like taking photos of a movie star, or famous person, with a half a dozen guys, moving in and out, offering suggestions of a pose,  more to the left, lift your head, use you hands on your face, click, flash, click, flash, on and on… Wow! Exciting and thrilling, I stepped right in like I knew what I was doing… I was not as vocal, but I would say thank you and very nice or great… not knowing whether the shot was good or not but the pose was presented… 

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Tagged with: photo shoot, writing, doubts, joys