Who heals the healers

My friend, you are mighty in your vulnerability. I am so in love with your openness, your rawness.  I've recently been in a similar place, and can sense your thundering heart.  Wonder if this is what is meant by “dark night of the soul?”

At the same time, I want to lift you up and spin you around and shout “Hallelujah!!”  Something was fertilized and conceived in that warm, safe intimacy of Beltane, and despite the fact that the labor pains are a motherf*cker, how could this birth be anything but amazingly beautiful?

I predict that you'll be richly blessed by and deeply thankful for this birth, long after you've forgotten exactly what it felt like to have your tender bits turned inside out and stretched into something suitable for parasailing.

Namaste, my Brother!

Oh, Jeff, lovely man that you are, LOVE that you are, and Sue, we meet here in this vulnerable yet huge open space of our hearts, standing in the fire together. I, too, am going through stuff just like you (and with those I most love in my personal life). “Dark Night of the Soul” - I don't know, but perhaps! But this I know, I have the willingness to stand in the fire with you as you have with me. I stand here not to judge, not to advise, not to DO anything other than what is required and THAT IS, being tender with an open heart.

Jeff and Sue, WE ARE the healers, and at the same time the HEALING too. And we are healed even as we offer, with our open arms and hearts, because we stand together. Jeff, and others, I have not shared the exact circumstances of my situation as I don't feel the need to name the specifics of it, but it is HUGE, just as your specifics of your situation huge. It is overwhelming these birthing pains. But like Sue says, and more importantly, what she points to is the essence that supports us and leads us to rise up like the Phoenix rising out of the ashes. And we rise up from NO-thing, only the essence which resides in our loving hearts.

I cried as I read your blog Jeff, so touched by your love, your awareness, your vulnerability, you openess … and I saw within this darkness an Open Door. I'm a fumbler in my stuff, not always knowing what's next and hoping and expecting the best. So, can I walk with you and you with me, and Sue, you join us too. Isn't this about the essence of GAIA, and our new LOVE for ourselves and for others.

Jeff, you are one of the few people I've ever met (even though just on GAIA) that I recognize this openess in. You always say in closing your shout outs, messages and blogs, “I AM LOVE.” Oh, Hell yeah, you certainly are. You are the exmple, the friend, the Open Door. And this is what I point to today, this beautiful path that we walk together through this darkness and into a new light. I'm as afraid as each of you, yet I know that we are holding hands and doing this work together. And this work is the work of a much greater love.

Life is richer for me at this time. The joys are richer and the sorrows are richer too. I invite everyone to come here and be with us, to be vulnerable, to hold hands and walk this together, bringing whatever needs that need to be met and brought to light. If any one of us stumbles, is lost, then there are others to lift us up.

Sue - you are a great healer wombyn. Your womb is rich with a love that assists as a midwife here, and I am a witness and helper. Let's call out for others to join us in our richness, its joys and sorrows. Let's open up our own unique worlds, letting our own galaxies and universes collide to spark the highest good for ALL of us, even those who have yet to join us here.

I love you both deeply and carry you in my heart and my fuller awareness. I bow to each of you for being willing to show up and play the part and experience the surprise, joyful or sorrowful. Our passion is ONE, is our COM-passion.

I bless each of you with the gift of myself as you have blessed me with yourselves.

I wanted to add two links that have relevance here: One is “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dream in a blog I posted previously at http://satyaseer.gaia.com/blog/2008/1/the_invitation_-_oriah_mountain_dreamer_from_youtube , and the other is the response to today's Q&R by Barbara (http://eventhorizon.gaia.com/) at http://eventhorizon.gaia.com/blog/2009/5/what_color_is_today .

Thanks, Barbara - we are our own unique color and yet each part of the whole. Damn, we make such a glorious rainbow!!! ;-D

Pick a color … any color that you feel heals you … fill yourself with that color, dress yourself with that color, decorate everything you see and touch with that color … color yourself a picture … because we are all connected, all One, our self-healing comes from being connected … your presence is there, always there, always waiting for you to simply touch and awaken.

Dear Jeff,
You have it all man.  You have the knowledge, the interest, the ability.  But you're not happy.  When you are happy, you attract other happy people because they feel your positive energy and want some of what you got.  Negative people drain energy from others.

Who heals the healer - what's that saying, “Physician heal thyself”.  You know what to do because you tell others to do it.  Yes, IT IS DIFFICULT, but DO IT ANYWAY.  “Fall down 7 times, stand up 8” 
Ask yourself this question, “What is the best life/outcome I can make for myself with what I have/the reality of NOW?”  Maybe you are wishing it would have turned out better.  “Give up all hope of a better past”. 
Create a new future for yourself right NOW.  Are you depressed? maybe you need some temporary pharmaceutical intervention. Use every resource.
 
Whatever you do, I wish you well and wish you peace.  You are a good guy and have gifts to give.
(((hugs)))

Hey, Jeff,
I've been talking to John, and he told me the gift your vulnerable open post was to him right now. We've been in conversation at FB, and I want to come and hug you here. As John has demonstrated we are all in the fire together, yet not burned. Are we a collective of Shadrach, Meshack, and Abednego? In the firey furnace of life, searing, retreating, and because WE ARE LOVE, ultimately facing and shining.
I have heated rocks in the sweat lodge fire till they glowed yellow, almost white. What a light they yield. In the kiln, porcelain glows white hot, too, changing from dirt into fine crystalline glass. Silver under the torch glows white as it becomes the shape I have designed for it.

Light is created in a fiery furnace: hydrogen fusion in the sun, the Big Bang, and look at what is created. We chose this. We knew the fire of life would burn us, hurt us, and yet we came here because we wanted to live in this Light.

At the center of our medicine wheel, peace, presence, knowing that we are all we desire, we are full, pure, innocent.

Thus run my thoughts after a day with you, online, yesterday, and a morning with John, and a month of being me, and a life of participating in the suffering beauty and wholeness of the world.

I wouldn't be good for anything or anybody without going through the fire, and looking it in the eye, saying its name, and loving it anyway.

None of this changes that hugs are an essential nutrient, and we can feel free to ask, receive, give, and let it all in, anytime.

Jeff, a rainbow of color and wisdom descends towards you. It is true when they say it's always darkest before the dawn. You know what to do :-)

You needn't worry. There is time. You have all the time in the world. You preceded time and you will exist beyound it. Age is irrelevant; more meaningless than a number. Forever, you have forever.
There is no dream you now have that you will not manifest. There is no challenge you now face that you will not crush and dispose of. There is no point in spending one more second of your awesome, amazing life, thinking anything to the contrary.

Hugs,
~lars

Jeff … my random blog for the day, I am honored.  “That which doesn't kill us, makes us stronger,” i don't know who first said it, but it was Kanya West singin' it in my head as I read your entry!

For me, and I can relate with the self-isolation, depression, and the like as I go through those self-healing phases too, I find that making the choice to be healed is the turning point for me.  I write that penultimate blog, poem, letter, rant – whatever it is – that integrates all the emotional healing I needed to experience and then that's it.  My next blog – and it usually is a blog – is “what i learned and how I'm going to use it next … “  Taking the direct experience and infusing it into an outlet – usually some thing that is a gift to the world – a teaching seminar, organizing a community event, volunteering somewhere – because if I give it freely first, I will always be free to give it.

The universe always supports you when you are doing your life purpose – always.  If your needs are not being met, ask the universe to show you the door to your purpose that will supply your needs and support your be-ing.  The universe never fails to help you if you are ready to be healed.

Big, warm melting hug to you … while you are on your own journey, you are not alone in your experience.

peace & harmony,
elaine
'freedom must be exercised to stay in shape!'

Jeff, this is a wonderous blog.  Thank you for being so “real”, for expressing your feelings and thoughts so beautifully.  I have felt so close to you since that virtual melting hug the other morning.  Blissings!

This post reminds me of the precious gift of community.

I am honored to have the opportunity to jump in and join this giant group hug.

WE are the change, sometimes one person at  a time, sometimes one post at a time, and always each of them wrapped up together finished with a bow.

Your candor is most refreshing, and deeply acknowledged, Jeff.  Your thoughts are what many wish to talk about, but don't have the courage enough to open publicly with.

I have read in one of my Sylvia Browne books, that we are all with a Spirit Guide, and to hear them, one has to open up to the knowing that they exist. 
Feeling disconnected from the world is what we all feel from time to time, and has nothing to do with being 'gay', so get that out of your head, silly man.

A good way to receive an answer to your question, is to ask yourself this before going to sleep.  In your dream there will appear an answer that only you can really decipher….or your answer will appear just about any where from a billboard, a walk down the road, or a phone call that all of a sudden makes you aware of something…..like I said, be open to everything, 'cause only you will be hit with it's meaning, and what ever you do, don't ignore it!  So many people do - at this stage of the game.  By doing so, will only lead you back to square one.
Your Guide will not always give you a straight up answer, but they will guide you to ways of moving in the right direction.  Just keep a close open ear to that inner bell of yours.

Try it…….ya' got everything to gain from it, hun.
Praying really helps to……just make sure that when you are asking for something, that you ask for it NOW….I know, it sounds kinda selfish, huh…..but tis not, because heaven doesn't know the meaning of tomorrow….time in other wards. They have a hard time dealing with hours, days, and so on.   Oh, I almost forgot…..make sure you ask for Mother Azna, when asking for help.  She's our Mother God, and is the mover and shaker, shall we say of ones answers to, and our receivings.  Also, go on line and find out who certain Angels are, and what tasks they hold…….certain ones hold amazing talents for your specific needs.

God speed to you Jeff.  Your in my prayers……HUGS

hi jeff. wow this was an amazing place to be this morning.
I felt your blog very strongly and your feelings and what you are saying. I know too when I try to go within sometimes it seems like a dark and useless place that holds nothing for me. I guess just gotta wait those times out. I feel like my life has ebbs and flows. when I am down and things are not going my way, eventually at some point flow goes in my direction. I have to be patient and say to myself, this can't last. My turn will come around again.

I just saw this today and it pulled me in to read.  Great title!!! Together on this site we find each other & connect and then go off to some other thread but it's threads like this that heal - just reading it reminds me to make it safe to not only use our full potential and more, but to have breathers (time out) to regenerate and reflect on what is important to us that is worthy of flowing power.  Thanks for all of the insight and strength pulled together in one blog & responses.

“or maybe this is the moving forward, maybe this is the light at the end of this tunnel, through the darkness of my emptiness”

I believe you've got this angst nailed down with that sentence, Jeff. Maybe all the down times we experience in life are the “moving forward” places, the chances to grow and learn. They are so uncomfortable I want to run screaming thru them, around them, away from them, but never to sit quietly with the feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, fear.

Now I'm thinking, “This running is a mistake, this withdrawing from life is not healthy for me.”

Thanks for bringing this to my attention thru your words.

amber